Tag: narcissists
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I deserve a life that doesn’t hurt (author’s post)
I have been using ChatGPT a lot to plan my future. Finances, finding attorneys, creating scripts for bad situations my husband puts myself or kids in. Even analyzing text messages or what he says or does to ground me in reality. It’s been insanely helpful. This morning I almost felt guilty for all this planning.…
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Life is funny sometimes (author post)
I climbed on my Peloton treadmill tonight (yes, I know that’s the whitest mom shit I’ve ever said but it’s who I am. I own that). My name on there is Fittestbyforty. I turn 38 in January… I giggled to myself because now my goal is #divorcedbyforty. I guess the goals could be one in…
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“You can be a single mom and do it yourself.”
This is what he said to me a couple weeks ago when I told him he needed to respect our oldest son after repeatedly interrupting him and talking over him. Yes, that was his extreme reaction to being told to respect another human and not treat him as property. So I’m changing directions and methods.…
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“Josh” and “Alice”
I wrote this very short story in 2019… when he and I moved in together. It’s so clearly about he and I, I don’t even remember writing it. She stared out into the darkness as they sat on their hotel balcony. She was sitting next to the man of her dreams but felt lonelier than…
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About last night… reflecting on my last post
After I wrote about not apologizing anymore, I thought of some of the most insane moments of this relationship. It was pre-kids, while we were living together. I remember one of our many fights, probably over nothing. I was probably joking with him, and he got so incredibly angry. This happened often. Things I would…
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No more apologies
When I call him out on his bad behavior he gets angry and will say “how dare you say that. Apologize right now!” He’s done this since we started living together. I used to cry and apologize. I would grovel and try to explain what I meant. I was afraid he’d leave. Now I only…
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A juxtaposition of who I was before and during
I found this in a variety of journals from over the years. This first writing was from 2016, when I was with my ex, the person who should have been my life person. The next is 2-3 years later, with my now husband. We were a few months into our relationship. The fact that I…
Her Quiet Escape 